What if no one cares?

Program Guru KARISMA was conceived and crafted amidst a sea of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and negative spirals. I would go from excitingly breaking down a research into our training content only to later find myself curled up in doubt going, “what if no one cares?” Some days, I’m completely inspired by the work that I get to do in putting this program together, convinced that this will help so many teachers rediscover their strengths, and some days, I am plagued by self-doubt, questioning if our efforts will truly make a difference, and if I am the right person for this task. The deeper I delved into research and readings, the more I realized how much I still had to learn on the subject. This realization was both enlightening and humbling, but it also instilled a sense of fear within me. Was I taking on more than I could handle? Would I be exposed as an impostor? What had I committed my organization to?

In the midst of navigating these professional challenges, I was also going through a very personal journey of rediscovering myself as an educator and reigniting my love for teaching. The loss of my father last year, which felt like yesterday and a forever ago, took away a significant part of my purpose and motivation. I did not realise how much of his energy, presence and motivation was fueling what I do. His absence made me question my worth and took away the joy I once found in teaching. Creating Program Guru KARISMA became not only a responsibility to our stakeholders but also a reflection of my own journey to rebuild my strength and reconnect with my inner needs so that I can serve better. If I was seeking for purpose and felt this immense need, surely there were others out there seeking the same – a revival of their passion for teaching, a deeper connection with their students, and a positive support system to navigate the challenges of work and the demands of life. If there is anything that my gut is telling me, I am very sure there are others. We have to reach out to make sure.

Program Guru KARISMA is a teacher training program, with its first cohort bringing together 72 teachers from 5 states in Malaysia across different levels and subjects, pre-school to high school, to learn about social and emotional learning (SEL) skills. To teach SEL, teachers must first know and value themselves, build a resilient mind, engage with one another in a meaningful and present manner, revisit their purpose as teachers, and have healthy coping strategies to regulate their own emotions.

The conclusion of our first 3-day workshop was a culmination of intense and magical moments.

I was physically drained, and yet felt incredibly lifted.

To hear from the teachers that this was what they were looking for, this was what they needed to experience, to hear, to learn and to witness their realisiation that SEL was the missing piece in their classrooms was truly inspiring. We went through understanding how our thoughts affect our emotions, how every emotion has a purpose and meaning (even anger!), how happiness can only come from within and how we are not defined by our reaction but by our response. To know that we have the power within us to respond with love rather than reacting left a profound impact on all of us. To be able to learn and teach these skills back to our students was something they were excited to do. We laughed and we cried, we supported and prayed for one another, we validated each other’s challenges, and  we became each other’s safe space in a short period of time. It takes great strength to teach, and a greater one to admit that we can and will do better.

I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to work alongside the dedicated team at Arus Academy. Every aspect of the program, from content creation to training delivery, was infused with intention and passion. If a content did not move us as trainers and facilitators, it was immediately thrown out and back to the drawing board. I felt like an artist at work.

The journey ahead with our cohort promises to be transformative, and I eagerly anticipate the growth and learning that will unfold in the months to come. Together, we will continue to support and uplift each other as we strive to be the best educators we can be.

To others like me who sometimes hesitate and wonder, “what if no one cares?”, I know better now to fight my ANTs with “what if someone does?”

Alina Amir, Lead, Program Guru KARISMA (Karakter Inspirasi Masyarakat) & co-founder, Arus Academy